Would You Like to Super-Size That? Oh, I Already Have

There is a lot of talk out there about losing weight. I've lost enough weight over the years to create not just one but probably two or three other persons. I know that isn't a good trend in my life, but is how it has gone anyway. I know every tip out there, and if knowledge about eating right and how to eat could make a person thin then I'd probably look anorexic.

When I first married at the tender of age of 18 1/2 years of age I weighted about 120 to 125 pounds. Not bad for a 5 foot 2 inch blue eyed blond. I put on a few pounds (probably 10 or so) and thus began the dieting, but it included more gaining than losing. Three years later when my first child was born I tipped the scales at 165 pounds and I began to seriously work to loose the weight. I was successful --- over the next two years I trimmed down to 125 pounds again. And once again I found myself *with child*.

This time I was much more careful about what I ate and how much weight I gained and I was much more within the range of what my doctor wanted at delivery. No more eating whole jars of peanut butter in one sitting during this pregnancy. :) After this birth I got the weight off quickly -- reached my goal weight. Life was good I had two beautiful daughters, my first job as a classroom teacher, was pleased to weight what I wanted to and then I became pregnant again. This was not a planned pregnancy --- it took a little time to adjust to the fact that a third child would be coming and I some how I got losing weight and getting pregnant combined in my head. Sounds silly I know, but it happened.

I was careful again this time while pregnant not to gain tons of weight, but afterwards just couldn't get motivated to lose it all back off. Somewhere in the back of my mind was a little voice that told me, *Hey, you know what will happen if you do.* So the weight stayed on longer than it should have. Then came the difficult year of losing my husband to cancer and being a single parent came right on the heels of that.

I found fast food readily available. (Here I should probably apologize to my daughters for setting them up to have weight problems. I was not a good role model.) Plus I had a new freedom I had never had before. No parents telling me what I should do, no husband to care if I prepared a meal or how much it cost to eat out just three little girls who pretty much liked me no matter what I did, and they liked fast food too. Hummmm

The weight went up and up during this time and then I met Robert. What a blessing he has been in my life. He and I were married with me weighing nearly as much as him and with three little girls in tow. Then an innocent remark by one of his uncles made me realize that I needed to do something about the weight and I did. I used every fad diet came along. And with teachers in the school lounge it was easy to find new diets. We all tried the Cambridge diet where we drank this nasty stuff but it worked, we followed the stewardess diet, we ate low fat, low calorie, grapefruit, boiled eggs, boiled cabbage, just fruit, no fruit, and weird combinations of all of them. I did lose weight. I joined an aerobic dance class --- that probably helped more than anything, but and here is the big BUT --- in my mind I was still fat ---- I hadn't learned then to accept my body style. I wasn't tall, I wasn't willowy, I wasn't every going to be proportional. I have a small chest, and I have a rear, and a stomach. I doesn't matter how thin I get I still have a small chest, a rear and a stomach.

My weight is about 20 pounds more than it should be right now for a 59 1/2 year old woman. I don't exercise as much as I should although right now Robert and I are walking two miles each morning and I'm trying to eat better. I'm now being sensible about how much I eat. I like the Adkins idea of low carbs. That is a way of eating that seems to work better for me than some of the others. I know I'll never be tall and willowy and thank goodness for J Lo who has made having a butt okay.

So if you'll excuse me now, I think I'll go have a glass of water and nibble a boiled egg.